Welcome to For Whom The Books Toll. Today I'm hosting Dee DeTarsio's All My Restless Life to Live Book Blitz presented by Xpresso Book Tours.
Announcing New eReader: The Fondle!
by Dee DeTarsio
I lost my ego along with the placenta of my first-born, making writing a natural career choice. More than seven hundred rejections, three agents, and close-but-no-cigar publishers toying with my affections, I perversevered. (I know that’s not a real word, but it should be.) Full disclosure: while I am not making enough to pay for Lululemon writing pants, I could probably spring for a pair of LuluLychees. (I would buy those.)
So why can’t I write erotica? I have tried, but it’s hard. (Get it?) I sat in front of my laptop for such an embarrassing amount of time, nothing came. Har har. I really wish I could write those spicy scenes. *Whip crack.* I hear it pays well. While every writer shares intimacy, some just have better vocabularies, imaginations, and experiences than others (and I’m not calling anybody s-to-the-lutty, here.)
I like titillating stuff as much as the next girl. If I write it, though, it makes me squirm, and not in the good way. I am no femme fatale. My bra and underwear don’t match. I’m more Vicks than vixen.
I get why guys like boobs, I really do. I get why girls like hunks with pecs that you want to squeeze like Charmin. But try as I might, under my throbbing fingertips (get it, I’m typing?) never the twain shall meet. Surely, I have other skills, right? I know what you’re thinking. What’s not going on in her boudoir? Hey, now. The man of my dreams and I have our bedtime story all worked out: four times a week, after Game of Thrones, twice on birthdays, anniversaries, when in hotel rooms, San Diego Charger’s victories, full moons, and first days of school; yes on phone sex, doesn’t everyone? and of course, I love giving blow jobs. We are such a passionate couple, n’est-ce pas?
So, I got to thinking. All books deserve a happy ending. (Wink.) Let’s just cut out the middle man and demand that technology gets on its giddyup to produce a vibrating eRotica eReader. Siri suggests we call it
the Fondle. I’d tap that app! (You know Jane Jetson had one!)
You’re welcome!
Dee DeTarsio lives in southern California. Her new novel, All My Restless Life to Live, is not yet available on the Fondle.
Title: All My Restless Life to Live
Author: Dee DeTarsio
Publication date: April 29th 2013
Genres: Adult, Romance
Goodreads
Blurb:
Award-winning author Dee DeTarsio combines life’s darker side with humor and tenderness in a wonderfully charming look at love and the afterlife.
Life is a soap opera, especially for Elle Miller, who is a TV producer. (Ellen dropped the “n” in her name in hopes of finding a better ending for herself.) When her laptop crashes, she borrows her dead dad’s computer and gets way more than she bargained for.
As Elle tries to save her career with a storyline featuring a trip through Atlantis, she takes a trip to the Emmys, and finds herself in the middle of a romance between a real doctor and a hunk who just plays one on TV. Friends, family, and clues from “the other side” all help Elle figure out the difference between living the good life . . . and living a good life.
Buy Links:
Amazon:
Paperback:
All My Restless Life to Live
Barnes & Noble
Vicks or Vixen? In defense of PJs
by Dee DeTarsio
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the rayon will not creep.
I mix it up before powering down,
But look more like a circus clown.
In case of emergency,
(If neighbors, police or firemen might see,)
I cover up, but comfortably.
In my head I’m a femme fatale,
That lying mirror tells a different tale.
Victoria may have a secret, but I have one too.
I look like I killed someone, or escaped from the zoo.
What do you sleep in?
A. Slinky, sexy lingerie.
B. Shunned-by-the-dust-rag yoga pants.
If you answered A, thank you. That is all. You aced the quiz, no need to keep reading. The rest of us:
A. Wish we were you. Go you. Seriously, just go.
B. Don’t believe you.
This edition of Vicks or Vixen is brought to you by It’s time to buy a new pair of pajamas—ones that don’t wrinkle, creep, make you sweat or look like a man; smell good, wash well, and fit perfectly. Seriously. What do you sleep in? And what do all those popular authors out there write in? The One & Only Emily Giffin, I’m talking to you. I bet she has a peignoir, a word I can barely spell.
I don’t know about you, but I’m fascinated by what people wear to the land of Nod. T-shirts? Leggings? Flannel nightgowns? Half of our life is spent in this hidden wardrobe, seen only by those special (lucky?) few. How can we not honor this important costume?
I’ve tried Victoria’s Secret–though I’m apparently fifteen years, ten pounds and two cup sizes out of their demographics. I was watching a movie with my family, and I had on a two-piece number. There may have been fuchsia trim. Someone actually hummed a circus ditty, “doo doo doo doo do do doo do do do,” like I was balancing on a unicycle in the center ring, honking my nose while chasing down an ice cream cart. Not the look I was going for.
How hard is it to invent cute pajamas? Ones that don’t wrinkle, creep, make you sweat or look like a man; smell good, wash well, and fit perfectly. (I am ashamed of how much I love polka dots—what is it about their dangerous lure?) When the bra comes off, the brain and body power down, according to research at IMTU (I Made That Up). We deserve special garb for this most sacred time. Hey garment industry, the world would be a much better place if you could design pajamas that make us look like Jennifer Anniston starring in a romantic comedy. Thank you.
*Music rises with a swell.* One day, there will be sweet, sweet PJs . . . soft, smooth, comfortable, alluring, am-muy-bien snoozewear, in which we can answer the door, wear to check the mail, and even drop kids off at school without having to fill out a journal entry for their future therapist. A girl can dream.
Anybody? Please tell us about your favorite jammies!
You do not want to see what Dee DeTarsio sleeps in. Her latest novel, All My Restless Life to Live, will put you to sleep. Oh, come on, you know what I mean!
Dee DeTarsio is a graduate of The Ohio State University and lives in southern California with her family. She did not teach herself to read at an early age or write stories by the time she was in kindergarten. She was still wetting the bed and playing in the can cupboard.
Author links:
http://deedetarsio.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dee-DeTarsio/112679022125465
https://twitter.com/DeeDeTarsio
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4400284.Dee_DeTarsio
I'm giving one lucky commenter an ebook copy of All My Restless Life to Live. Just leave a comment answering Dee's question about what kind of jammies you sleep in. Please include your email addy so you can be contacted if you win.
All My Restless Life to Live
Barnes & Noble
Vicks or Vixen? In defense of PJs
by Dee DeTarsio
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the rayon will not creep.
I mix it up before powering down,
But look more like a circus clown.
In case of emergency,
(If neighbors, police or firemen might see,)
I cover up, but comfortably.
In my head I’m a femme fatale,
That lying mirror tells a different tale.
Victoria may have a secret, but I have one too.
I look like I killed someone, or escaped from the zoo.
What do you sleep in?
A. Slinky, sexy lingerie.
B. Shunned-by-the-dust-rag yoga pants.
If you answered A, thank you. That is all. You aced the quiz, no need to keep reading. The rest of us:
A. Wish we were you. Go you. Seriously, just go.
B. Don’t believe you.
This edition of Vicks or Vixen is brought to you by It’s time to buy a new pair of pajamas—ones that don’t wrinkle, creep, make you sweat or look like a man; smell good, wash well, and fit perfectly. Seriously. What do you sleep in? And what do all those popular authors out there write in? The One & Only Emily Giffin, I’m talking to you. I bet she has a peignoir, a word I can barely spell.
I don’t know about you, but I’m fascinated by what people wear to the land of Nod. T-shirts? Leggings? Flannel nightgowns? Half of our life is spent in this hidden wardrobe, seen only by those special (lucky?) few. How can we not honor this important costume?
I’ve tried Victoria’s Secret–though I’m apparently fifteen years, ten pounds and two cup sizes out of their demographics. I was watching a movie with my family, and I had on a two-piece number. There may have been fuchsia trim. Someone actually hummed a circus ditty, “doo doo doo doo do do doo do do do,” like I was balancing on a unicycle in the center ring, honking my nose while chasing down an ice cream cart. Not the look I was going for.
How hard is it to invent cute pajamas? Ones that don’t wrinkle, creep, make you sweat or look like a man; smell good, wash well, and fit perfectly. (I am ashamed of how much I love polka dots—what is it about their dangerous lure?) When the bra comes off, the brain and body power down, according to research at IMTU (I Made That Up). We deserve special garb for this most sacred time. Hey garment industry, the world would be a much better place if you could design pajamas that make us look like Jennifer Anniston starring in a romantic comedy. Thank you.
*Music rises with a swell.* One day, there will be sweet, sweet PJs . . . soft, smooth, comfortable, alluring, am-muy-bien snoozewear, in which we can answer the door, wear to check the mail, and even drop kids off at school without having to fill out a journal entry for their future therapist. A girl can dream.
Anybody? Please tell us about your favorite jammies!
You do not want to see what Dee DeTarsio sleeps in. Her latest novel, All My Restless Life to Live, will put you to sleep. Oh, come on, you know what I mean!
Dee DeTarsio is a graduate of The Ohio State University and lives in southern California with her family. She did not teach herself to read at an early age or write stories by the time she was in kindergarten. She was still wetting the bed and playing in the can cupboard.
Author links:
http://deedetarsio.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dee-DeTarsio/112679022125465
https://twitter.com/DeeDeTarsio
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4400284.Dee_DeTarsio
I'm giving one lucky commenter an ebook copy of All My Restless Life to Live. Just leave a comment answering Dee's question about what kind of jammies you sleep in. Please include your email addy so you can be contacted if you win.
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